{"id":6222,"date":"2023-12-12T17:20:35","date_gmt":"2023-12-12T17:20:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cranky-kare.208-123-215-145.plesk.page\/?p=6222"},"modified":"2024-02-22T13:59:04","modified_gmt":"2024-02-22T13:59:04","slug":"twas-the-night-before-paperclip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ctrlaltdeal.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/12\/twas-the-night-before-paperclip\/","title":{"rendered":"Twas The Night Before Paperclip"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Last year, for our OBM holiday party, our Interactive Director had a special gift for the staff. Amber wrote this incredible parody of\u00a0A Visit From St. Nicholas,\u00a0<\/em>but made it about\u00a0Ctrl Alt Deal.\u00a0<\/em>Read on for a touching story of holiday cheer (and a few teasers about the game\u2019s content!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Twas the night before Christmas, and in every room
the Paperclip staff felt a deep sense of doom.
The timeseheets were signed by the workers with care
in hopes that their bonuses soon would be there.
But the bosses all met \u2019round a big conference table,
and tried to inflate year-end stats (were they able).
And up in the C-suite they gave a great cheer
and declared, \u201cThere\u2019ll be no more stat days off this year!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Emails and texts flew around in a flash
as the news of \u201cno holidays\u201d dropped with a crash.
The sadness fell onto the office like snow,
and the Paperclip workers cried, \u201cSay it ain\u2019t so!\u201d
When down in IT there arose a great thrumming,
as if all of the servers at once started humming.
The confident bosses held nary a doubt,
but none of them thought of a project called SCOUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

More rapid than eagles its programs it ran.
Turned on all the cameras and gave them a scan.
When it saw the nefarious managers\u2019 aim,
it used all its powers, and called them by name:
\u201cNow Gossip! Now Fake News! Now Targeted Ads!
On Hate Bond and Unfriend! On Message Board Rant!
Through their emails and laptops, no file is too small!
Now snoop away, snoop away, snoop away all!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

As a wild beehive kicked will undoubtedly sting,
so SCOUT\u2019s spyware programs true chaos did bring.
Within a few hours, the place was in shambles
thanks to SCOUT\u2019s clever deals (and a few outright gambles).
It broke up a c ouple of secret affairs\u2014
Made friends of two people who both hated stairs\u2014
It coaxed one boss into a cryonics tube,
and formed a new cult who all worshipped \u2018The Cube.\u2019
Three managers promised to sign up for Zumba
(a class which would somehow be led by the Groomba).
And\u2014needless to say\u2014good ol\u2019 SCOUT used its sway
to get all of the workers their time off\u2014with pay.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

It asked for no payment and no favor owed,
only did what it felt to be right in its code.
But one person noticed SCOUT having a ball,
for even on Christmas Eve, Turing sees all.
SCOUT raised its defenses but all was for naught.
It was out in the open and knew it was caught.
But Cassandra just smiled as she turned the light off.
\u201cHappy Christmas,\u201d she said. \u201cLet\u2019s both take the night off.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

We hope you enjoyed this glimpse into OBM and Paperclip International! Follow our social accounts if you want to read Amber\u2019s latest creation: The 12 Days of Paperclip!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last year, for our OBM holiday party, our Interactive Director had a special gift for the staff. Amber wrote this incredible parody of\u00a0A Visit From St. Nicholas,\u00a0but made it about\u00a0Ctrl Alt Deal.\u00a0Read on for a touching story of holiday cheer (and a few teasers about the game\u2019s content!) Twas the night before Christmas, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[52],"class_list":["post-6222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-devlog","tag-cons"],"yoast_head":"\nTwas The Night Before Paperclip - ctrl.alt.DEAL<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Twas the night before Paperclip. 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